The state of anger, irritation, judgement, fear are all part and parcel of anger it seems.
For a lot of people(myself especially included) it's done out of habit. That and the feeling of being right.
In some ways that's probably why I get angry. I now am starting to realize the how and why it is sometimes satisfying , as it strengthens the sense of self.
Spinning the wheels(hey that's a good name for a blog !) , imagining the past and future most certainly stirs up the pot. Haven't we all got angry about things we imagine someone will do ? I know I have.
We end up projecting that feeling of anger,pain and it bounces right back at us.
My relationship with my daughter is an example of this. The two of us have spent an inordinate amount of time projecting at each other, pain ,fear, worry.
It bounces off of me unto her and back to me in a quasi ping-pong game of emotions. The feeling of suffering afterward for both of us is extreme and incredibly fatiguing.
At least she and I have have to some sort of terms lately ( OK maybe me more than her at this point, but I'll digress) but it's a start. She has even agreed to sit with me when her stress is getting to high.
A good sign I think...